(Never) Been There, Done That

There is that girl in the group without a boyfriend. But it’s not like she just became single some days ago– she has been, since birth. I’m here to speak on her behalf, a fellow never “been there, done that”.

Twenty-two years alone. To be honest, I often ask myself why. What happened? How did I manage to go through those decades of just me, myself, and I? Is it me? Or is it them? Why can’t guys see what I see in me? These questions have plagued my inner monologue every day for as long as I can remember.

While I sincerely see nothing wrong with being single, people have always been keen to judge the “No Boyfriend Since Birth”. Even my friends can’t help but wonder. After all, I’m confident enough to say that I’m pretty, smart, and funny. Those are traits men look for in a girlfriend, right?

Am I being too picky? Too self-absorbed?

In my defense (and I’m sure other NBSBs will agree), being single has its merits. After all, waiting won’t take this long if there is no upside, right? There are many advantages to taking the ‘road less travelled’. For now, let me give you three:

I’ve Had Experience

Funny how ‘experience’ falls on the top spot given I’ve never been in any romantic relationship before. I’ve never had a boyfriend, yet I’ve had some boy friends. You know, all the ‘almost’ stories you call your girlfriends about. Seems ironic, but being single all this time has actually gifted me with experiences that shaped my principles. I’ve had my heart broken countless times by guys who left too soon to be mine. It is through these experiences I learned not to take things, or the next person, too seriously.

I Like the Freedom

While I acknowledge the delight of finding a soul mate, I enjoy this time I have to make the most of my youth. I really am in love with my independence. (I swear it’s not some sort of defense mechanism!) Seeing my friends suffer from the obligation of reporting to, and getting the approval of, their boyfriends makes me love being single even more. This freedom to live, dream, and fly by my own rules just becomes more difficult to let go as years go by. Why give it up sooner than I have to?

I Have Standards

With experience and independence comes one factor every NBSB never compromises on– standards. Whatever others say about being too choosy, impractical or unrealistic, I’d never change my status for someone who falls short of these standards. I didn’t come this far and waited this long to settle for anything less than what I deserve. Unless the inner voice in me confirms our compatibility, I’m willing to wait until forever for that person who is worth it all.

There you have the three reasons behind my seemingly unacceptable preference to go solo. It’s not that I hope for a fairy tale, I’m just brave enough to believe it will all be worth it in the end. I may be in the minority here, but I still believe in standing firm in my values while anticipating for that someone who’s worth the (admittedly, very long) wait.

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